It's a story without chapters! And it's relatively short!
Posted: Thu Apr 02, 2009 5:13 am
Written with the help of Frostbite. Try and spot who wrote what sections!
A: I AM EATING A SANDWICH THAT HAS FAR TOO MUCH PEANUT BUTTER!
B: OH MY GOD! ABORT!! ABORT!!!!
A: IT'S TOO LATE! I"M CAUGHT IN IT'S GRAVITATIONAL FIELD!
B: PULL UP! PULL UP!!!!
A: CONTROLS AREN'T RESPONDING! IF I DIE, PROMISE ME ONE THING!
B: WHAT?
A: TELL MY WIFE, I BANGED YOUR MOM!
B: WHY?
A: BECAUSE YOUR MOM'S A WHORE, AND I FIGURED MY WIFE DESERVED TO KNOW WHERE ALL THE VENEREAL DISEASES CAME FROM!
B: BUT THAT ISN'T TRUE AT ALL!
A: THEN HOW DID I GET THE SPACE AIDS?
B: TUCKER'S MOM!
A: OH YEAH, I FORGOT ABOUT THAT. IN THAT CASE, YOU MIGHT WANT TO TELL YOUR MOM THAT SHE NEEDS TO GET HERSELF TESTED.
A: OH THANK GOD, I FOUND THE EMRGENCY MILK RESERVE!
B: ON PLANET ZARKON 9?
A: WHERE ELSE IN THE GAMMA SECTOR WOULD YOU FIND A HYPER-DENSE PEANUT-BUTTER SANDWICH?
B: I DUNNO, I'VE HEARD RUMORS THOUGH!
A: REALLY? THAT'S PRETTY SPECTACULAR.
A: DO YOU REMEMBER WHO TOLD YOU?
A: 'CUZ THAT GUY PROBABLY KNOWS FOR SURE WHERE IT'S AT.
B: NOT REALLY, I HEARD IT AT A SPACEPORT WHILE DOWNING PAN-GALACTIC GARGLE BLASTERS.
A: IF THAT'S THE CASE, I'M SURPRISED YOU REMEMBER ANYTHING AT ALL!
B: I KNOW, RIGHT?
A: SERIOUSLY, WAS THE BARTENDER WATERING THEM DOWN OR SOMETHING?
A: BECAUSE YOU SHOULD BE LIKE, IN A COMA, OR SOMETHING!
B: NAH, I MADE THEM
A: WAIT, SINCE WHEN DID YOU START TENDING THE BAR AT SPACEPORTS?
B: I DIDN'T, I TOOK IT OVER THROUGH HOSTILE FORCE, I HAD BEEN DOWNING OF SOME OF CRAZY 'OLE MAN LANETH'S MOONSHINE EARLIER THAT DAY.
B: IT DOES THINGS TO YOU.
A: I'M SO GLAD THAT HE TURNED THAT STUFF INTO A SUCCESSFUL DISTILLING COMPANY BEFORE HE WAS MURDERED!
B: YEAH, THAT'S COOL.
A: WHAT'S THE TAGLINE FOR THAT COMPANY? IT HAS COMPLETELY SLIPPED MY MIND!
B: "THERE IS A 96.4% CHANCE OUR DRINKS WON'T KILL YOU!"
A: OH YEAH, THEY WON THE 'TRUTH IN ADVERTISING' AWARD THREE YEARS RUNNING WITH THAT. HOW COULD I FORGET?
B: MAYBE YOU WERE DOWNING TOO MUCH OF IT?
A: THAT'S A MUCH BETTER EXPLANATION THAN 'PEANUT-BUTTER-INDUCED AMNESIA'!
B: INDEED.
A: WHY ARE WE STILL SHOUTING? I THOUGHT THE EMERGENCY WAS OVER!
B: WELL, THIS COMMUNICATION HARDWARE/SOFTWARE COMBO IS REALLY ERRATIC.
B: IT'S JUST THE BEST WAY TO MAKE SURE ONE IS HEARD.
A: MAN, THE FUTURE SUCKS!
B: IT REALLY DOES.
A: I SHOULD TRACK DOWN THE BASTARD THAT INVENTED THIS PIECE-OF-CRAP TECHNOLOGY!
B: FOR REALS
B: WELL I'M HEADED TO BED.
A: SLEEP WELL!
B: YOU TOO!
A: I WILL, AS SOON AS I FIND SUITABLE ACCOMODATIONS HERE ON ZARKON 9!
A: I AM EATING A SANDWICH THAT HAS FAR TOO MUCH PEANUT BUTTER!
B: OH MY GOD! ABORT!! ABORT!!!!
A: IT'S TOO LATE! I"M CAUGHT IN IT'S GRAVITATIONAL FIELD!
B: PULL UP! PULL UP!!!!
A: CONTROLS AREN'T RESPONDING! IF I DIE, PROMISE ME ONE THING!
B: WHAT?
A: TELL MY WIFE, I BANGED YOUR MOM!
B: WHY?
A: BECAUSE YOUR MOM'S A WHORE, AND I FIGURED MY WIFE DESERVED TO KNOW WHERE ALL THE VENEREAL DISEASES CAME FROM!
B: BUT THAT ISN'T TRUE AT ALL!
A: THEN HOW DID I GET THE SPACE AIDS?
B: TUCKER'S MOM!
A: OH YEAH, I FORGOT ABOUT THAT. IN THAT CASE, YOU MIGHT WANT TO TELL YOUR MOM THAT SHE NEEDS TO GET HERSELF TESTED.
A: OH THANK GOD, I FOUND THE EMRGENCY MILK RESERVE!
B: ON PLANET ZARKON 9?
A: WHERE ELSE IN THE GAMMA SECTOR WOULD YOU FIND A HYPER-DENSE PEANUT-BUTTER SANDWICH?
B: I DUNNO, I'VE HEARD RUMORS THOUGH!
A: REALLY? THAT'S PRETTY SPECTACULAR.
A: DO YOU REMEMBER WHO TOLD YOU?
A: 'CUZ THAT GUY PROBABLY KNOWS FOR SURE WHERE IT'S AT.
B: NOT REALLY, I HEARD IT AT A SPACEPORT WHILE DOWNING PAN-GALACTIC GARGLE BLASTERS.
A: IF THAT'S THE CASE, I'M SURPRISED YOU REMEMBER ANYTHING AT ALL!
B: I KNOW, RIGHT?
A: SERIOUSLY, WAS THE BARTENDER WATERING THEM DOWN OR SOMETHING?
A: BECAUSE YOU SHOULD BE LIKE, IN A COMA, OR SOMETHING!
B: NAH, I MADE THEM
A: WAIT, SINCE WHEN DID YOU START TENDING THE BAR AT SPACEPORTS?
B: I DIDN'T, I TOOK IT OVER THROUGH HOSTILE FORCE, I HAD BEEN DOWNING OF SOME OF CRAZY 'OLE MAN LANETH'S MOONSHINE EARLIER THAT DAY.
B: IT DOES THINGS TO YOU.
A: I'M SO GLAD THAT HE TURNED THAT STUFF INTO A SUCCESSFUL DISTILLING COMPANY BEFORE HE WAS MURDERED!
B: YEAH, THAT'S COOL.
A: WHAT'S THE TAGLINE FOR THAT COMPANY? IT HAS COMPLETELY SLIPPED MY MIND!
B: "THERE IS A 96.4% CHANCE OUR DRINKS WON'T KILL YOU!"
A: OH YEAH, THEY WON THE 'TRUTH IN ADVERTISING' AWARD THREE YEARS RUNNING WITH THAT. HOW COULD I FORGET?
B: MAYBE YOU WERE DOWNING TOO MUCH OF IT?
A: THAT'S A MUCH BETTER EXPLANATION THAN 'PEANUT-BUTTER-INDUCED AMNESIA'!
B: INDEED.
A: WHY ARE WE STILL SHOUTING? I THOUGHT THE EMERGENCY WAS OVER!
B: WELL, THIS COMMUNICATION HARDWARE/SOFTWARE COMBO IS REALLY ERRATIC.
B: IT'S JUST THE BEST WAY TO MAKE SURE ONE IS HEARD.
A: MAN, THE FUTURE SUCKS!
B: IT REALLY DOES.
A: I SHOULD TRACK DOWN THE BASTARD THAT INVENTED THIS PIECE-OF-CRAP TECHNOLOGY!
B: FOR REALS
B: WELL I'M HEADED TO BED.
A: SLEEP WELL!
B: YOU TOO!
A: I WILL, AS SOON AS I FIND SUITABLE ACCOMODATIONS HERE ON ZARKON 9!
