SMBC Comics Forum

People who go to libraries. Just fucking buy a book, guy! I'm trying to read here!

smiley_cow wrote:When women in tv shows and movies wake up in the morning in full makeup. Just to be clear, I'm not talking about stage makeup, I'm talking about when they wake up and they have lipstick and eye shadow on.

Subverted in George of the Jungle, much to my amusement.

My neighbours standing in front of my house yelling at 8am in the morning. At least yell in front of your own homes people, I'm trying to get my sleep.

Eisbreaker wrote:

Kaharz wrote:Waking up

I second this. Especially if it's early*.

* Early - /ˈərlē/ - n. - anytime before 12:00.

I haven't slept past noon in almost a decade. I get for work at 5:30am on a normal day. Some days I wake up at 2 or 3am.

When you buy something really nice to eat as a treat, and someone else eats it. More, when someone else eats it and leaves the wrapper on the bench allowing you that fleeting hope that maybe it's still there, only to have that hope crushed like all your other dreams.

"Irregardless"

Oh man, the thought of tucking into a crisp, crunchy Cornetto® cone! You savour the ice cream and topping, but really--your mind is hell-bent on the satisfaction of crunching on that delicious crispy conical wafer. Slowly, but surely, you consume the tasty sugary ice-cold ice-cream. Lick by lick, nibble by nibble, the ice cream decreases to the point where it is set flush to the chocolate-coated rim of the Cornetto® Cone itself. Now. Now is the time to bite down into that delicious crumbly base.

But. What the fuck?

What the hell is this.

Seriously.

Soggy? YOU WERE SUPPOSED TO BE CRISP AND BEAUTIFUL. Instead you are pulpy mush. I can't eat this; it offends my mouthfeel. Ptooey. Ick. It's like a waffle that's been left soaking in moisturising cream.

God fucking damn it. Cornetto®: Why you no crunchy? Not even the hardened pool of chocolate at the base can soothe this wounded heart. I rip you in twain. Only, you don't snap, you tear like wet card. Not even the act of destroying you satisfies. I discard, and withdraw, disappointed, to my quarters.

Felstaff wrote:I discard, and withdraw, disappointed, to my quarters, to weep and masturbate.

I felt something was missing.

I can't stand those inconsiderate people who don't post pictures of the lovely SPFFFP that arrived at their door yesterday!

Edminster wrote:I can't stand those inconsiderate people who don't post pictures of the lovely SPFFFP that arrived at their door yesterday!

It's not my fault it coincided with life stuff. You could have picked one of the other 360 days of the year to have it arrive.

Kimra wrote:When you buy something really nice to eat as a treat, and someone else eats it. More, when someone else eats it and leaves the wrapper on the bench allowing you that fleeting hope that maybe it's still there, only to have that hope crushed like all your other dreams.

Almost similar to this. When I get a bag of jelly beans at work, and pick out and eat all the flavors I dislike first, so that only the delicious ones remain. Then and only then will someone walk up and ask for some. I think they're secretly watching me and waiting for me to finish getting out the less delicious candy first.

New strategy, keep a small reserve of less delicious jellybeans for the sole purpose of charitable donations. Hence allowing you to enjoy the delicious ones without coming off as a dick.

Urinate on the the most delicious colours.

Sahan wrote:without coming off as a dick.

Was this ever really a concern?

Sahan wrote:New strategy, keep a small reserve of less delicious jellybeans for the sole purpose of charitable donations. Hence allowing you to enjoy the delicious ones without coming off as a dick.

Even more new strategy, anytime a co-worker asks for jelly beans assume they actually meant a punch in the face. Give them that.

My brother keeps screaming "seriously?!?!?!" at the fifa game whenever he's not winning by a major lead. I just scream at him to shut up, then he tells me to shut up. Then I say "NO YOU SHUT UP" and he cries to my mom and kicks shit.