You're a bit taller, but not even you realise. You die shaking your fist at God for this perceived injustice.Kovvy wrote:I wish I was a little bit taller, but not enough that anyone would notice.
I wish my rapping career would take off.
Moderator: Oldrac the Chitinous
You're a bit taller, but not even you realise. You die shaking your fist at God for this perceived injustice.Kovvy wrote:I wish I was a little bit taller, but not enough that anyone would notice.
Astrogirl wrote:Lethal, nobody wants to know about your herpes.
Lethal Interjection wrote:That's good to know. I can avoid a few awkward phone calls now.
Your rapping career takes off. You get major airplay and huge contracts. You are stabbed after an award show, and die.DonRetrasado wrote:You're a bit taller, but not even you realise. You die shaking your fist at God for this perceived injustice.
I wish my rapping career would take off.
You get a little bit taller. And no one notices, because you also became invisible. Any novelty wears off pretty quickly, as you live the definition of a solitary life. You spend several years in solitude. One day you absent-mindedly jaywalk across the street and a car doesn't see you and runs over you, and the driver didn't know what hit him. Passers-by smell the stink of your rotting corpse though no one knows where it is coming from.Kovvy wrote: I wish I was a little bit taller, but not enough that anyone would notice.
Datanazush wrote:I ship Mohammed and Jehova.
Gutchucker decides to take a break from his job (spy, naturally) and break 'radio' silence by answering the top trump earlier than expected. The organization he infiltrated picks it up immediately and launches their missiles out of fear. One lands near your house but only close enough to give you a long slow death. There is ice cream though.Oldrac the Chitinous wrote:The earth is visited by aliens who picked up wi-fi signals from Earth and based their culture around our games of top trumps. They abduct you and force you to explain your friggin' trump already, geez.
I wish Gutchucker would explain his friggin' trump already.
You instantly become perfect. I tell you that my concept of a perfect man is a dead man. You consequently die as a result of this realisation that human perfection cannot be objective unlike, say, the perfection of diamonds. In case you're not dead, the world's largest, most perfect uncut flawless diamond falls from an aeroplane and spears your foot. You try not to worry about it for a few days, but then you notice a strange smell coming from the wound. You decide to visit the doctor, but in doing so you would have to navigate a particularly busy stretch of road. As you cross, an 18-wheeler careers out of control towards you at 80 miles per hour (128kph). It... narrowly misses you, and you continue on your way. The next stage is travelling through the Forest of Precariously Hanging Anvils. Fortunately this is just a name, and you cross the forest with no difficulty. You reach the doctor's, just as he is treating a patient known as "Chainsaw Ted: the Buzzsaw Killer of Oklahoma". Ted bursts out of the doctor's office and... gives you a big smile, before departing. You enter the doctor's office, and he greets himself as Dr. Kevorkian. "Don't worry," he says, "no relation!" He sees your foot and says you have a mild infection, before giving you some antibiotics and sending you merrily on your way. Soon, your foot heals and you decide to meet up in the library with your good friend Col. Mustard, who wants to borrow your candlestick. He takes it with a smile, raises it above his head, and ... says "this shines so nicely in the light! Thank you!" You wave goodbye and go home. Your wife shoots you dead because she's unhappy with the state of your marriage.gavin wrote:I wish I were the perfect man.
Astrogirl earns 10%-20% more than she does and consequently never posts her wish.Felstaff wrote:I wish astrogirl didn't post first, as I spent a long time on this and don't wish to tailor it to her wishes.
Global warming causes colder water melting off the Arctic cap to push gulf stream away from the western coast of Europe. The area is plunged into a mini ice age, crops fail, livestock dies. The German government asks Greece for assistance. The Greek government tells Germany to go to hell and repeals their austerity measures as an additional fuck you. You are killed while waiting in line for bread when a thrown brick hits you in the head.Astrogirl wrote:You are put in the Total Perspective Vortex. It all makes sense. You turn insane.
I wish it weren't quite as hot.
Kaharz wrote:I don't need a title. I have no avatar or tagline either. I am unique in my lack of personal identifiers.
"It" was too vague of a term for the wish, so nothing changes as the wish granter viewed your face as the "it" and a wish is wasted on you being subjectively hot only to yourself and no one around you. Instead, you now view yourself like everyone else does and you are thrown into unconquerable despair. Also, you contract AIDS. Not space aids or even normal human aids, but cat aids. It turns out you are at least attractive to animals.Kaharz wrote:Global warming causes colder water melting off the Arctic cap to push gulf stream away from the western coast of Europe. The area is plunged into a mini ice age, crops fail, livestock dies. The German government asks Greece for assistance. The Greek government tells Germany to go to hell and repeals their austerity measures as an additional fuck you. You are killed while waiting in line for bread when a thrown brick hits you in the head.
I too wish it were not so damn hot.
Destructicus wrote: Alt text:
"I wonder if chemists feel bad that they're always left out of these sorts of jokes."
Since when is chemistry not a science?
fixedSahan wrote:You... completely misread Kaharz's wish there.
Life gives you AIDS? Make lemonaids!gavin wrote:Also, you contract AIDS.